Our List of Demands

Bullmoosers, Assemble!

This was originally supposed to be called ‘Our Platform’, but the more we thought about it, the more we thought–this ain’t a political party, it’s a movement. It’s a movement, specifically, predicated on the idea that those who work in government work for us, not the other way around. They are our employees, and we should feel free to issue orders. So here are just some of ours, to begin with. There are going to be changes coming, so be sure to check in from time to time to see what’s happening. And feel free to comment and ping if it ain’t happening quickly enough!

Bullmoosers,

I was talking the other day to some friends about this project and have been fielding a lot of questions. A lot of this blogging is self-advertisement, you know, and I’m sticking “Bull Mooser” in to just about every sentence I can speak with out driving everyone crazy. Anyway, from memory, I’ve attempted to list them all here. They’re paraphrased, of course.

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Hey. What’s the plan?

The plan, Stan, (may I call you Stan?) is to begin aggregating power in a new, national voting bloc.

Isn’t that spelled b-l-o-c-k?

It looks better spelled without the ‘k’.

Why not a party?

We could go that way in the future. In fact, it might be necessary. However, for now, we maintain that the problem with politics is that it’s dominated by parties, which are necessarily a narrow distillation of political sentiment in this country.

What’s the problem with that? You’re not suggesting a Swiss direct democracy, are you?

We don’t know if the Swiss have a magic formula or not. What we do know is that voting as a bloc (like the Satmar and Hasidic Jews, for example) can bring to bear a headlock kind of force upon an opponent.

Jesus. This isn’t wrestling.

Yes it is. The proper place of government is to live in fear of its citizenry, not the other way around.

Sounds kind of too macho.

There are people in this country who want to control how you live–whom you marry, what your kids learn in school, and how Christian you are. We think those impulses are kind of macho. Care to fight that with hugs and bunnies? Maybe we could rustle up a crying clown and a rainbow or two.

So your attitude is, use the same tactics that your ‘enemy’ does.

Basically. The ends are different, but we’re basically going to hit you over the head until you listen to our demands.

Sounds like a hostage situation.

Have you been asleep for the past eight years? Yes, it’s a hostage situation. The whole point is that we take everything apart–all the layers of institutional nonsense and party corruption that have kept power from ordinary people out there and people like you who think you’re somehow above everything and can “always move to Canada” like you threaten but never actually do.

Moving to Canada would actually be a more effective method of change, actually, than continuing on.

Okay, so how do you intend to affect change?

Threats, mainly. You know, “Do your job or we’ll vote you out.”

You say you want to maximize power and freedom for individuals. What if my religion prevents me from wanting to allow people to do certain things, like use stem cells for research?

Then you’re a damn busybody.

So my religious values/culture don’t count?

They count, but only for you. Everyone else gets to choose. You don’t get to make laws based on your values for everyone else.

So this is all like, ‘Free to be you and me’?

Yes. Do you prefer ‘Free to be like me’?

Aren’t our laws based on someone’s faith and religion?

As presently written, yes. However, belief in a transcendent, pan-dimensional superbeing isn’t required to think that murder is a bad thing, or stealing from pensioners ought to be illegal. You don’t need any religion to outlaw those things in good conscience.

You keep talking about “breaking” everything. Do you actually have any constructive beliefs?

Sure, but to institute those beliefs we need to jackhammer the knuckleheads out of the tree. Sorry, bad metaphor. Anyway, we believe in:

Government’s role: is to help or get out of the way. Government, through its offices and budget, can foster a national technological and materials strategy. It can pave the way for exports to other countries, and insist on a level playing field in the international currency market.

Government must never: grow beyond its AMC (Absolute Minimum Capacity) to accomplish its goals

Government doesn’t know how to spend citizens’ money better than its citizens

Government serves at the pleasure, whim, and convenience, of the citizens.

Government’s mandate is to maximize and protect the freedom of individual expression and capacity.

A vote should be a positive choice, not a defensive reaction. You should be voting for your hopes, rather than your fears.

Bully on,

Bullmooser